Let the Boy Child Cry if He Has To…

There has been a marked increase in the number of suicide cases in Namibia.

With the majority of the victims being men, I believe it is high time that the upbringing of the boy child is scrutinised.

This article aims to discuss the upbringing of the boy child and the role it plays in shaping his future.

The way a child is raised plays a major role in determining what sort of adult they become.

Most men are who they are today because of how they were brought up.

In many if not most African cultures, a boy child is raised as a strong human being who is not supposed to express emotions.

In terms of these cultures, a ‘real man’ is defined as someone who doesn’t cry, regardless of how much pain he feels, or show emotion no matter what he is going through.

The African culture of parenting encourages boys to suppress their emotions, be tough and stoic, without considering the potentially damaging consequences it may hold for their future mental health.

Traditionally, men are labelled as cowards or ‘not man enough’ for expressing their feelings.

STEREOTYPING

Society in general tends to portray men as emotionally strong compared to women.

However, this so-called emotional strength is determined by the ability of a man to bury his emotions and try and pull through painful and difficult situations without opening up to anyone let alone seek professional help.

This stereotyping could be what leads many men down the slippery slope of suicide: Whatever their age, they don’t know how to express and deal with their emotions.

They find it hard to accept that all emotions, including negative ones, are completely normal.

Instead of opening up and expressing their emotions, most men tend to keep their emotions to themselves.

These emotions may then build up and become too overwhelming for some to bear.

Perhaps it is also a matter of who to open up to because not only do boys grow up to be men who are scared of opening up, but some also tend to judge others when they open up to them.

It is immature how some people, not only men, find joy in other people’s misfortunes.

Instead of being sympathetic and helpful, there are those people who would rather judge others, or sometimes even expose them.

This also makes it difficult for individuals to express themselves to others when they are going through a rough time

For this reason, too many people prefer to try and contain their emotions, as opposed to opening up because they fear they will judged.

EMPATHY IS NORMAL

To men out there, please know that it is completely OK to express your emotions. Should you find yourself experiencing problems, feeling helpless or going through some type of trauma, please don’t bottle it up.

Open up and seek help!

You are only strong enough to keep your emotions to yourself, endure sorrow and withstand pain, until one day your heart can’t take it anymore.

That is when you start to feel suicidal.

Equally important, we should also be man enough to emotionally help a fellow man.

Let us not be judgemental about what others may be going through, or mock them.

All human beings are prone to emotions, pain, stress, and sorrow.

Let the boy child cry if he has to. It is completely normal.

• Asser Nakale is an assistant archivist at the ministry of education, Oshikoto Region. This article is written in his personal capacity. Twitter (X): @AsserNakale; Facebook: Asser L N Nakale; email: [email protected]